Well...

Yesterday I was at my brothers place and something sad happened to him and his family, no one is injured but feelings and trust is broken.

I love my brothers just as much, bith of them, I want to have that clear.

But sometimes when I look at Patrik who is the oldest, I feel so proud to be his little sister, I feel proud of him and just wish all his troubles could go away.

Yesterday I felt so helpless but I was there and I held him and gave my support.

It hurts to leave him and move and he knows this.

My favorite memory with him is when I took him to see "The Simpsons" movie...he was so happy :-)

He has astma so sometimes when he breaths they´re heavy strokes, and this time he was eating popcorn and started laughing..he was so happy and enjoying the eve...the laughter went straight to my heart, bless him.

I have had one nightmare where he get´s shot and I try to get to him and help him, and I watch him die before my eyes...

When I woke up from this dream, I felt so sick and so extremely sad...

I tell him as often as I can that I love him...I hope he knows by now. :-)