It's been 2 months...

Today it's 2 months since Eva passed.
It still feels like yesterday and I still panic.

I haven't cried since I came back from home.
I don't know why, because I can feel all these emotions but they're just locked in there.
What to do.

I miss our skype sessions Eva.
Your way of pointing things out...
your laughter..
Your genuine interest in my life and everything in it.

I still wear the socks you knitted for me, both pairs.
Remember how you tricked me into trying them on when you were in for chemo?
And the fact you used like an entire roll of sticky tape when you gave them to me for christmas..only took like 45 minutes to open.
The way you, Me and Maja would act when we played video games..

Your perfume.
When dad died you asked, in a way only you could, not even looking me in the eye " do you want a hug perhaps"

I'm sorry for not coming to see you more often, you and Palle.
I'm sorry for those times I couldn't skype with you.
I'm sorry I didn't make it home in time to say goodbye.